What Is Wrong With Me?
by CBloom2
Summary: My small follow up to my last story Don't Miss Your Chance - a small smattering of psycho Lily (sorry Lily fans). She is making life extremely hard for a certain lovable doctor.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my follow on from 'Don't Miss Your Chance' - I've decided to go with psycho Lily. This will be totally and unashamably out of character for her, but she has got it in her head and her plan that Ethan is the man for her! I want to try to get all this up before Saturday as I've read a spoiler that changed the time plan for me.**

 **As always, I don't own anyone that you recognise, they belong to the BBC.**

 **Hope you enjoy...**

 **What Is Wrong With Me?**

Dr Ethan Hardy finally sat down with a deep sigh as he curved his hands around his coffee cup. He had been on his feet constantly for six hours now without a break. His head was aching, not only because of the usual stresses and strains of the busy ED or because he was dehydrated after not having a drink since breakfast that morning, but also due to Lily's constant questioning of his decisions. Ninety per cent of his decisions she had questioned already and he still had another six hours to go until the end of his shift. It hadn't just been that day either, she had been doing it for the last few days. She told him that it was to make him a better doctor, but it actually only served to dent his already beleagured confidence even more. That coupled with blood tests and xray/CT scan request forms going missing - all for his patients - had made the week a living hell for the young doctor. He took a quick drink from his cup as the door opened to reveal his brother, "So this is where you're hiding Nibbles," he chuckled, his smile dropping as he saw the look on his brother's face. Ethan ran a hand through his hair, "Can't have been hiding that well - you found me," he retorted half heartedly.

"You ok?" Cal asked even though it was obvious that he wasn't.

"Yes...yes I'm fine. First break in six hours - first drink since breakfast - banging headache, so yes I'm great!" He blew out a deep breath, "I'm sorry Cal, I'm a little tetchy," he admitted.

"How come?" Cal questioned as he sat opposite the younger man.

Ethan looked at him nervously wondering whether to tell him what had been going on or whether it would make him look even more useless than he felt.

"Every time I think I'm done with a patient, something crops up - it's been happening for the last few days actually..."

"What do you mean, something crops up?"

"Blood tests go missing - yesterday Rita found one of my CT scan requests screwed up in the rubbish bin..."

Cal looked puzzled, "And you hadn't put it there I'm guessing."  
"No, the patient hadn't even been for the scan. Would you say that I'm pretty good with my decision making? I mean we all have our off days, where we question what we're doing..."

"Ethan your decisions are solid - where is all this coming from?"

"For the last few days, Lily has been questioning seemingly everything that I do or have done. She says it's because she's helping me become a better doctor, but it's been constant. Am I really that bad Cal? Please be honest with me," Ethan looked at him pleadingly.

Cal had bristled slightly at the mention of Lily's name. He'd had his suspicions about Lily's feelings for his brother, and since the night that Ethan had managed to get together with Honey, Lily had been more distant with everyone.

"Look Ethan, you are a good doctor, you know you are. Why are you letting Lily undermine you?"

Cal could feel a stab of anger even saying Lily's name - why was she doing this to his brother.

"I'm not...she..."

Anything else the young man was going to say was forgotten as the clinical lead barged into the staff room, "So Dr Hardy, this is where you've been hiding!"

"I...I wasn't hiding Mrs Beauchamp."

"Well maybe you ought to consider it young man," her face looked thunderous.

Ethan and Cal exchanged confused glances, "Let me enlighten you...we currently have five patients about to breach their treatment time, and guess what Dr Hardy? Three of them are your patients, and where do I find you? Sat on your backside drinking coffee and having a chat!"

"This is the first time I've sat down since my shift started six hours ago..."Ethan began to explain.

"Cry me a river Dr Hardy - now go and sort your patients out."

Ethan threw Cal a stricken look and immediately left the staff room.

Cal felt bad for his brother, "It really was his first break..." he began as Connie spun round to face him.

"Be that as it may, this is not the first time in the last few days that most of the breaches have been Ethan's patients. It really isn't good enough Cal," she told him, her face softening a little.

Cal felt a little uncomfortable, nervous even, Connie noticed, "What's on your mind Dr Knight?" She was all business once more.

"Can I tell you something in confidence," he asked, knowing that what he was about to tell her was a risk. At her agreement, he began to explain his concerns to the clinical lead, who listened with interest.

"I know it would be totally out of character for her and I have no evidence at the moment to support my theory, but you know Ethan Mrs Beauchamp, he may be a little slow sometimes but he's a good doctor and he knows what he's doing," he finished.

Connie thought for a moment, "You're right Ethan does know what he's doing. It would be totally out or character for her but I have noticed a particular frostiness from her in the last few days. Ok then, from tomorrow, wherever possible, I would like you to shadow your brother, without him knowing obviously and just observe. If you think there is something that needs addressing then you come and tell me. I will not put up with any member of my staff undermining another no matter what the reason," with that she strode out of the staff room.

At the end of the shift, as Cal drove a mentally exhausted Ethan home, he noticed the lines of stress on his forehead and vowed to do whatever he could to help his brother.

 **This was going to be a oneshot, but has now turned into a two shot. I'm not going to drag it on any further. I do realise that this wouldn't really happen, but this is why we write fan fiction.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was hoping to post this a little earlier, but I've been watching Emmerdale so I couldn't pull myself away from the tv!**

 **So here's chapter 2. Lily is still very much out of character but that's fan fiction for you.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter, I'm glad you're liking it. So onwards...**

 **Chapter 2**

Over the next couple of days, Cal almost became his brother's shadow. He had managed to work in Resus nearly all the time Ethan did and when he was in cubicles, he made sure that he was able to walk past as regularly as possible.

"Have the blood test results come back yet Dr Hardy?" Cal heard Lily's distinctive voice from behind a curtain.

"I...haven't seen them...yet," he heard his brother stammer, knowing that he would be frantically checking his tablet, "They don't seem to be here at the moment..."

"You did send them off didn't you? I am aware that some of your blood tests have gone missing this week."

Cal nearly burst through the curtain as he heard the tone of Lily's voice - she was obviously baiting him.

"Please excuse me Mr Reeves, I will chase them up right now - Dr Chao..." Ethan finished as calmly as he could as he opened the curtain to allow Lily to exit.

Ethan noticed Cal looking angry, but with a glance at Lily, he chose not to say anything. Instead he walked to the nurses station closely followed by Lily. He tapped away furiously on the computer, desperately looking for his results.

"Rita, you haven't seen any blood test results for Mr Reeves in cubicle three have you?" he asked hopefully.

The head nurse thought for a moment, then shook her head.

"Erm Ethan, does this happen to be the request form in question?" Lily asked as she held up a crumpled form. Ethan's stomach plummeted - no that wasn't right, he remembered writing it up and putting it into the notes, "I put it in the notes, I remember doing it."

"Well, obviously not," Lily started, "Looks like I'll have to sort it out...again," she huffed as she went on her way.

Ethan slumped into the chair, his head in his hands, "Not again," he mumbled, "What's happening?"

He felt his eyes begin to sting - no, he wasn't going to do that.

Cal was steaming. He could see that his brother was at the end of his tether, but as yet, he had nothing that he could take to Connie.

"Come on Ethan, chin up - it's just one of those things," he tried to soothe his frazzled brother.

"How can it be 'just one of those things' when it's been happening every day Cal? I really don't know how much more I can take..." he admitted sadly, hating the feeling of hopelessness.

Cal moved round the desk and put an arm around his brother - a gesture that caught Charlie's eye.

"Everything alright lads?" He asked surprised to see Ethan's eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Oh, it's nothing Charlie," Ethan dismissed trying to pull himself together.

"The blood test request form for Ethan's patient in cubicle three went missing - it was found in the bin," Cal started to explain.

"What? Again?" Charlie looked shocked.

Ethan dropped his head once more, "I know," he breathed, "I don't know what's happening. I've never lost so many forms - I don't know what's wrong with me," he finished quietly.

"There's nothing wrong with you Ethan," Charlie told him before Cal had the chance to, "I saw you fill out that form and put it in the notes. I was stood next to you because you were explaining why you were requesting one of the tests..."

"You saw me put it in the notes?" Ethan looked hopeful.

Charlie nodded and smiled as the young doctor let out a sigh of relief.

tBefore he could say anything else, Lily arrived back looking rather pleased with herself, "I've managed to rush the results, so I'll go and explain them to the patient..."

"Hang on," Ethan jumped to his feet, "Mr Reeves is _my_ patient, so I'll have a look at those and _I'll_ discuss them with him," he told her as he took the tablet from her grasp.

"Are you sure?" she questioned, "After all, you couldn't even find them earlier."

Cal tensed as he gripped the back of the chair that Ethan had been sitting in.

Ethan had had enough, "Look Lily - while I appreciate that you are trying to help me become a better and more confident doctor, these last few days of constant questioning my decisions, my treatment plans, basically everything that I have been doing, is having the opposite effect."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," Lily said innocently.

"Yes you do. Most of this week you've constantly questioned me, challenged my treatment plans, you've even tried to take over my patients at times - it's got to stop!"

A sudden pain sliced through his head, causing him to gasp and stagger backwards. Cal and Charlie were by his side in a flash, "Eth, what is it?" Cal asked, already having an idea.

"Migrane...came on...all of a sudden..."

It was as Cal had suspected, "This happens sometimes when he's under extreme pressure," he explained to the concerned nurse. Cal looked to Lily, whose face was devoid of expression, "I hope you're happy now," he ground out.

"I don't see how this is my fault - he needs to be able to cope with pressure..." she retorted as she turned her back on them, "Looks like I'll be treating the patient after all."

"Mr Reeves..." Ethan gasped.

"Excuse me?" Lily didn't even turn round.

"The patient has a name, Mr Reeves," Ethan almost whispered.

Lily huffed as she made her way back to cubicle three, "What's wrong with her this week?" Charlie enquired.

"I believe the phrase is 'a woman scorned'," Cal said as he nodded towards his brother.

"Ahhh," Charlie said understanding what Cal was telling him.

Cal looked down at his brother, who had his eyes screwed shut, "Charlie, I'm going to take Ethan home. All my patients are discharged - Lily can take care of Ethans..."

"No, just give me a hour," the younger man argued.

"It doesn't work like that Ethan and you know it, "Cal replied gently, "Even with tablets this won't go away for a good few hours."

"I'll be fi...aw," he gasped once more at the pain.

Charlie nodded his agreement, "I'll square it with Connie," he told the brothers.

"Thanks Charlie. Come on Nibbles - pills and a darkened room awaits," he told him as he put his arm around him once more to keep him steady.

"You know I hate being called Nibbles," the younger man grumbled as Cal led him out.

As the two doctors left the ED, Lily watched with a satisfied smirk. Although she hadn't wanted Ethan to suffer physically, she was quite pleased at how much her plan was affecting him mentally. That would teach him!

"Dr Chao, can you bring me up to speed please," Connie's voice snapped her out of her musings.

"Certainly Mrs Beauchamp - as you can see, two of Ethan's patients are about to breach once again, but now he's gone home, I will make sure that they are treated and discharged as soon as possible."

"Why had Dr Hardy gone home?" Connie looked towards Charlie.

"He had a sudden onset migrane - a nasty one by the looks of it. Cal said he gets them sometimes under extreme pressure," the experienced nurse explained.

"Like I told him," Lily interuppted, "He needs to be able to cope with some pressure to become a good doctor."

"Indeed he does - well thank you Lily, carry on," she dismissed the younger doctor.

She watched her return to cubicles, "Something's going on here Charlie..."

"I agree. Ethan looked very upset earlier - blood test form gone missing - Lily found it in the bin, not for the first time this week I might add. Him and Lily had words then this migrane came out of nowhere - nearly knocked him off his feet literally. Cal's took him home and he's coming back when he's settled."

A small frown of concern graced the clinical lead's face, "Ok, good, that's fine. Have you got a minute? I'd like to discuss what's been happening - this needs sorting once and for all."

 **I couldn't get away with not hurting Ethan in some shape or form could I? Hee hee.**

 **So it was going to be a two shot, but now it's going to be a three shot! Chapter 3 is just about written so I'm hoping to get that up tomorrow sometime but I don't know because I'm going out tomorrow night - but will try to post in during the day.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well I've managed it! I've managed to get this finished and posted when I said I would!**

 **Thank you for all your great comments - I love reading them.**

 **Final chapter - maybe a bit long but we'll see. Also, I'm not a doctor and although my son is diabetic I may not get all the facts right later in the chapter (you'll see what I mean) because, thankfully, we have never been in that situation as yet.**

 **Hope you enjoy...**

 **Chapter 3**

The following morning, Ethan groaned as his alarm blared mercilessly. He slammed his hand down to shut it off. For the first time in his career, he didn't want to go to work. He couldn't face another day of disasters. Maybe he could phone in sick, say his migrane had flared up once more - Cal would back him up.

Suddenly there was a loud knock of the door, "Up and at em Nibbles," he heard his brother say.

"Go away," he grumbled as he slumped under the quilt, pulling it over his head. He heard the door open and his brother's feet padding across the carpet. All at once, his quilt was dragged off him and his brother was peering down at him anxiously, "You ok?" he asked. Not getting a reaction from Ethan to the use of the dreaded nickname had caused some concern from the older brother.

"Yes...well no...not really. The migrane itself has gone, but the bruised head feeling is still there..." he couldn't hold Cal's gaze any more.

"And...?" Cal questioned seriously.

"And...I don't want to go in," he admitted, ashamed.

"WHat? Ethan Hardy, doctor extraordinaire wants to throw a sickie?" Cal smiled.

Ethan almost laughed at Cal's way of saying things, "I know I'm being stupid but I can't go through it all again."

Ethan felt the bed dip as Cal sat down, "Look, I understand that it must be frustrating, especially when you can't explain why it's happening, so let's work together on this and sort it out. What do you say?"

He looked sincere. Ethan sighed deeply and nodded his agreement.

When they arrived at work both Charlie and Connie both asked after him, "Glad to see you feeling better Dr Hardy - so now that you're back on form, I'd like you and Cal in Resus today - ok?"

"Yes Mrs Beauchamp, that's fine, thank you," Ethan said politely as he left her presence.

"Cal, a word please," she said to the older brother as she moved to her office, requesting Charlie's presence also.

"Is he really alright?" she asked.

Cal sighed, "His head still hurts a little and...well he actually didn't want to come in today."

Connie looked surprised but also nodded, "I've brought Charlie up to speed so that's both of you keeping an eye on developments."

Cal nodded thankfully and left to begin his shift.

A couple of hours into his shift, and Ethan was beginning to feel more comfortable. No-one had questioned anything that he did and although it seemed like Charlie was by his side every time he filled out any forms, it was strangely comforting because at least he knew he had back up should anything go missing.

Suddenly, the doors to Resus burst open and a trolley with a young man on was brought through by Charlie, Lofty and Lily. Ethan felt his stomach clench when he saw the young woman, bracing himself for the questions, "Oh Ethan, you _are_ here today," she smiled sweetly, "Hope you're ready for this," she almost sneered.

Charlie glanced at her then over at Cal who was still dealing with a patient, but he had looked up at Lily's comment.

"Always ready Dr Chao - so who do we have here?" he asked cheerfully.

Lofty took over, "This is Peter Thompson - 17 - he has diabetes and is currently experiencing a hypo. His last test was five minutes ago where his blood sugar level was 2. When paramedics arrived on scene his sugar levels were 1.3. They gave him some glucose on scene - the gel in his mouth - which brought him up to the current level. He was unresponsive but not unconscious. B.P 100/50 - resps 25 - pulse 120..." Lofty finished as he was checking the monitor.

As the young nurse was reeling off the information, Ethan was already examining the patient, "My name is Dr Hardy, Peter, can you hear me?"

No real response was forthcoming, "Did you have anything sugary before the ambulance came?"

He noticed that Peter was trying to move his head from side to side, "That looked like a no to me - thank you Peter," he said.

"You can't be sure," Lily challenged, "He's basically unresponsive."

'Here we go' thought Ethan.

"It looked to me like he was saying no too," Charlie intervened, which earned him a grateful glance from Ethan and a glare from Lily.

Ethan felt a pull on his arm. He looked at Peter who was still moving his head from side to side, "You didn't have anything sugary before the ambulance arrived..."

"No," croaked Peter, who then closed his eyes.

"Ok, well, his levels haven't come up very well so I think we need to give him a glucose injection - if you could sort that out Lofty please."

"You can't possibly give him an injection of glucose when you don't know for sure if he's had some earlier," Lily argued.

"Lily, we need to get his levels up into a more normal range. Even if he did have some before the ambulance arrived, it hasn't brought it up to where we want it to be, so instead of us discussing it, let's treat him - Lofty?"

"I think we should do a blood test," Lily wasn't giving in.

Ethan sighed in frustration. Charlie was shaking his head and Lofty didn't know where to look, "It will take time...fine...Lofty pass me the monitor," Ethan said as the curly haired nurse passed him the glucose monitor and finger pricker, "We need more in depth blood tests," Lily was still arguing.

Ethan ignored her as he took a quick blood sample from Peter's finger, "Look Lily, it's gone down to 1.6 - Lofty the syringe please," he requested from the nurse who immediately passed it over. Before Ethan could take it from him, Lily had got hold of it and was looking at it, "Dr Chao, the syringe please," Ethan asked as patiently as he could.

"I'm just checking..."

"Checking what?"

Cal, who's patient was just being wheeled out of Resus, was washing his hands watching the scene unfold before him.

"What are you checking Lily?" Ethan asked once more, his patience beginning to wear thin.

"Checking that it's right. Checking that you told Lofty the right thing," she answered defiantly, "After all, this hasn't been one of your better weeks..."

Lofty and Charlie gasped in surprise at what she had said, while Ethan's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Cal, however, had had enough. He strode across Resus, grabbed the syringe and handed it to his brother, "Good call Ethan," he called to the younger doctor.

As Ethan administered the glucose, Cal leaned in close to Lily, "I don't know what you're playing at, but it stops...right now," he hissed in her ear. Lily threw him a dirty look and stormed out of Resus.

Soon after, Peter was beginning to make progress. His mother and father had arrived and they found out that Peter had skipped breakfast but had somehow managed to give himself some insulin causing his blood sugar to drop.

Ethan left Lofty to stay with Peter while he went to write up the notes and order the more in depth blood tests that were needed. Once more, Charlie was by his side as he signed the form and slipped it into the notes, which he left on top of the desk. As Lily passed by, she picked up the notes and began to read them. As she did so, she got hold of the form and began to screw it up. As she slowly walked towards Resus, she dropped it in the bin. Before she knew what was happening, she had been stopped by Cal and Charlie, the latter picking the form out of the bin, "I think we need to pay Mrs Beauchamp a visit," Charlie said quietly.

"Ethan, Connie wants to see you," Charlie told him after he had just seen Peter up to a ward.

"None of my patients have breached today..." he said out loud.

Charlie chuckled, "Don't worry...I don't think they ever will again," he told him.

Ethan knocked on Connie's door and entered nervously, "You wanted to see me?"

Straight away he saw Cal and Lily, the former looking almost murderous and the latter looking guilty and sad.

"Yes Ethan, I did," Connie answered softly.

Ethan now felt even more nervous - he couldn't remember the last time that Connie had called him by his first name, "What's going on?" he questioned, glancing at Cal who was still stood ram rod straight with his arms folded across his chest, anger radiating from him, "Cal?"

Connie looked at all three doctors standing in her office. She noticed Cal's posture, "Dr Knight, why don't you carry on with your shift - I can sort this out," she advised.

Cal looked like he was going to argue, but decided against it. As he turned to leave, he patted Ethan on the arm, which left the younger brother even more confused.

Once he had left, Connie's attention turned to Lily, who was still standing with her head lowered, "Right then Dr Chao, should I explain or shall you?"

When no answer was forthcoming from the young woman, Connie took over, "It seems Ethan that everything that has been happening to you this week has had something to do with Lily," she struggled to think of the words as she didn't want to upset Ethan and it was obvious that Lily was in bits so she wanted to be sensitive to her feelings too.

Ethan looked shocked, "In what way?"

"The missing forms...the questions...were..."

"I wanted to get back at you," Lily intervened, finally lifting her tear stained gaze. Ethan immediately felt protective when he saw the tears, but, as usual, didn't quite know what to say.

"Get back at me for what? What have I ever done to you?" he was genuinely confused.

Lily found the floor interesting once again, "Lily, please tell me. If I know then maybe I can do something about it," he told her gently. Connie smiled as she listened to the caring young man - not many people would be as caring as him in such a situation.

"You chose Honey over me! There, I've said it. I'm a stupid, irresponsible human being..." her voice cracked.

Ethan looked to the clinical lead, who shrugged her shoulders, "I didn't know that you felt like that," he answered honestly.

"We have the same interests - same career ideals - same interlect - my plan..."

All of a sudden it seemed like the penny dropped for Ethan, "So you're saying that you weren't trying to make me a better doctor, you were trying to discredit me? Because of Honey?"

"You could do so much better than her," Lily mumbled immediately regretting what she said as Ethan's gentle expression hardened.

"Lily, I thought I was going crazy this last week. I actually told Cal that I didn't want to come to work today - I never do that - I..." he began to breath heavily as he now understood what had been happening.

"I do regret what I did Dr Hardy," Lily sounded formal, "But not the reasons why. I'm sorry, but you're not right together."

"Well I think that's for me and Honey to decide - don't you?" Ethan looked away from the young woman he once thought of as a good friend.

"You want to become a consultant though Ethan - how can that happen now?" Lily pressed.

"Honey understands - she's behind me all the way, whatever it takes and she is with me 100%, something that I thought my friend was - but it seems I was wrong about that," he dropped into a chair, deflated.

Connie had heard enough, "Ok that's enough," she said, "We can't help how we feel about people and the choices they make, but Lily, I'm afraid that what you did to Ethan this week was despicable. He's one of my best doctors and because of your actions he became ill and didn't want to come into work. I will not have anyone undermining my staff, whatever the reason. I feel that I have no alternative but to suspend you for a week..."

Lily gasped. Ethan looked shocked, "Mrs Beauchamp is that not..."

"Ethan you are so sweet for sticking up for her after what she has done, but I believe that it will give Lily plenty of time to think about her actions. Dr Chao you are to leave the ED now for a week. I expect you to think about what your actions have caused, and I expect the old Lily back next week."

"Yes Mrs Beauchamp - and I'm very sorry for my childish actions."

"Ethan has made his choice Lily, you have to respect that," she finished, as Ethan dropped his head, slightly embarrassed.

Lily nodded slowly as she turned to leave. She stopped as she reached the door, "I have hope you will forgive me in time Ethan."

"I hope so too," Ethan replied sadly.

As Lily opened the door, Cal almost knocked her over in his haste to get to his brother, "Come in Cal," Connie beckoned. Cal strode in and closed the door behind him.

"She admitted it to Ethan," Connie told him.

"Was it because of Honey?" he asked, looking at his brother.

Ethan nodded sadly, "Why the long face Ethan? At least we know now..."

"She's my friend though. I can't believe that she would do that..."

"I've suspended her for a week..." Connie told Cal.

"A week? After what she put him through? He wasn't sleeping...she made him ill..." Cal smiled slightly at Ethan's shocked face, "I knew you weren't sleeping Eth - you're my little brother, I know everything."

Connie couldn't help the fond smile that came to her face at Cal's caring side, "Right, well, it's over now. So Dr Hardy, Dr Knight, I expect nothing but the best from you both now. No more breaches Dr Hardy..." she smiled as his anxious expression.

"Thank you Mrs Beauchamp - and I'm sorry for all the drama..."

"Who'd have thought Nibbles that you would have women drama at work," Cal chuckled as he threw an arm around his brother and guided him out of the office.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not call me Nibbles!"

 **So that's it! It's done. I'm not particularly happy with this chapter (and I'm not just saying that so you'll all say nice things).**


End file.
